Saturday, 17 April 2010

Your Life Looks Like Dog Sick Compared to mine

Tarq's Tips to Improve Your Shitty Life # 1 - Admit You're a Moron and Adjust Your Expectations Accordingly

I used to get depressed about everything - my lack of talent ; my poorly paying job ; the low quality of my girlfriends' faces ; the poor working conditions in Filipino Special Economic Zones, but as soon as i focused purely on one realistically-possible objective - developing an awesome ass - my spirits lifted and my ego achieved lift off. I watched in awe-struck wonderment at my buttocks gradually becoming firmer, more defined and generally as solid and unyielding as a Viking fucking anvil. 

Now, they can take away my house and my car and they can destroy my credit rating - and they HAVE done all these things now - but they can never take away my frankly amazing ass. 

Only a weekend re-watching the entire 1970s Columbo back catalog with a hamperful of sugary treats can do that.


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