Friday, 16 April 2010

I've Seen More Smoke Coming out of a Thai Hooker's Asshole

So yesterday, every flight in the UK was cancelled, apparently because some volcano erupted in some faraway country called Iceland that most people thought was a made-up place where Santa was supposed to live, and sent out a bunch of smoke into the atmosphere.

Well, I looked out of my window yesterday - nada - and I'm sitting here looking out of my window now, and i can't see the tiniest waft of smoke heading my way. In fact, i've only ever seen crystal clear skies like these before on a postcard from Switzerland. I think this is all a big conspiracy and that something really interesting is happening somewhere and some power-mad douchebag doesn't want us to know about it.

The smoke coming off of the Icelandic volcano

Smoke from my barbeque pit as seen from 20,000 feet


  1. I don't know much about Thailand or the hookers there. Actually, I don't know much about hookers anywhere! But, if there's smoke actually issuing from their asshole, regardless of where they're from, I'm thinking that's a hooker that you'd likely want to avoid. Not that I'd know, as I say! Just a guess. ;-)

  2. Well, i am in no way critiquing your bedroom technique, Smag, but it sounds a little to me like you're not going at it with maximim intensity. You need to apply yourself Shatner-style.

  3. Oh, yeah, i meant Shatner back in his 60s heyday. Doing it like Shatner today would just be embarrassing.

  4. Tarq, if I could do anything, and I mean an.y.thing, as well as Shatner, I believe that my life would be complete. Sort of like reaching Nirvana. What would there be left to do at that point? And honing my bedroom technique to Shatner-style intesity (even curren-day Shatner)? I'd likely die right there on the spot due to the knowledge that everything, from that moment on, would be downhill. ;-)