Inspired by Madonna and Brangelina's example , we recently decided to take the plunge and adopt someone from a backward, impoverished country and share with them all the things that we have been lucky and blessed enough to take for granted such as indoor plumbing, electricity and the internet.
Meet Seamus :
Seamus is from Ireland and had never been outside of a pub or seen a widescreen TV before he joined us in England. He lights up our life with his hearty laughter and smoker's cough and radiates joy throughout our humble abode like a little beaker of strontium-90. Truly, we feel blessed to have been given this opportunity to bestow our love on this little bundle of cantankerousness and he surely validates us in a way in which our natural daughter could never hope to.
Getting Seamus to rise from bed before 2 in the afternoon and changing his soiled underwear has occasionally proved challenging, but he more than rewards us with his colourfully obscene language and feisty bouts of physical violence. Right now, i can hear my wife's friends exploding in gales of laughter as she recounts the time he cracked a whisky bottle across her forehead for trying to stop him from defecating in one of our antique Chinese vases. This incorrigibly cheeky scamp will be the death of us, i'm sure.