Tuesday, 7 December 2010

New Deadliest Warrior # 3 : Thai Hooker vs Italian Sailor

Thai Hooker :

For those brought up since early childhood on the wholesome goodness of asian porn, it's difficult to believe that anything oriental could have its darker side, but the truth is, is that if you let your guard down for but a moment, the humble Thai hooker will fuck you up worse than an undead Bruce Lee.

Weapons :

Close Range           : Ball squeeze

Mid-Range             : Whip

Long-Range           : Vibrating Ball Bola

Special Weapons   : Heavy Make-Up ; Low Prices ; Extreme Cunning ; Concealed Penis ; Venereal Disease ; Syphilis ; Gonorrhea

Italian Sailor :

Italian military personnel have never had a very high reputation. One joke goes that the Italian navy uses glass-bottomed boats so they can steer clear of the old Italian navy. Do they stand a better chance against an un-armed civilian adversary ?

Weapons -

Close Range         : Ass pinch

Mid-Range           : Dark hair ; good looks ; Italian accent

Long-Range         : Extreme cowardice

Special Weapons : Pretending to be Macho; running away ; shrieking like a little girl ; 

Simulation :

Italian sailor propositions Thai hooker in the age-old manner (by squeezing her ass).  'She' pulls her dress up to reveal 'her' surprisingly large cock and while he is gawping in disbelief, the Thai ladyboy jams 2 vibrating eggs into his eye sockets before thrusting a sharpened dildo through the side of his neck.

Flawless Victory !

Italain sailor proves no match for his cunning oriental adversary and must go in search of a less formidable opponent such as a gerbil or money spider.