Monday, 6 September 2010


Right now, i bet you're thinking old Tarquin's sitting there alone in the dark again, sniffing his fingers and listening to the soundtrack to Star Trek II : Wrath of Khan, thinking of all the different ways to assassinate Smagboy. Well, it's true, i am thinking that, but i'm also thinking that the only explanation for the way people treat me is some kind of discrepancy between my own self-image and how other people see me. I'm guessing the discrepancy looks something like this :

1. How I See Myself

2. How Others See Me :

Obviously, that comparison was an exaggeration and that second picture looks nothing like me. The real me has a boner from catching an eyeful of that chick's panties in the first picture.


  1. Ah, yes, but can Smaggie make a suggestive remark about your butt and raise his left eyebrow at the same time ?
    Yeah, you know what you missin'.

  2. Every time that I try to jauntily raise my left eyebrow, they both go up. It's sad, really. Sort of like a guy who tries to wink, but ends up just blinking. Incessantly.

    That said, I'd been feeling recently as if someone was watching me. I hope that you weren't too grossed out by the toe-jam thing that I did. That was for your benefit, Tarky. ;-)

  3. Oh tarq, not to worry. I see you as a funny looking tomato.

  4. That first picture bothers me. Remind me not to buy the album even if it is a classic.

    The man is a mess. It looks like he is wearing a bad toupe and an incontinence pad, and his shoes have the tops cut out in front. His bib looks like it has pictures of sliced bread on it. Is there some scientific significance to that? Finally, his space pistol won't fit in the holster on his waist.

    The young woman should take her little white puffy schoolgirl underpants and her deerskin boots and go back to the prop room. The boob-squasing belt was a really bad idea, even if it does have pictures of coins on it. Her space pistol looks like it came from an old discount store like Kresge's.

    Maybe I expect too much.